So, first, let me explain just wtf I'm talking about here. I'm talking about that phase where you're safely past puberty, you're in the middle of all those hormones, and you know exactly what they mean. You have sex on the brain all the time … but you haven't actually had sex yet. That stage. That awkward, crazy, lustful, topsy-turvy stage. Remember that? Good. Then you'll probably remember these equally awkward, agonizing, amazing experiences as well.
1 Getting Aroused when You Really Shouldn't Get Aroused
Maybe you popped a boner at an inopportune time. Maybe you got squirmy in your seat reading a risque passage in your favorite V. C. Andrews novel. Whatever, we all know what it's like to be young and awkward and suddenly horny.
2 Never Knowing when to Put You Hands
When you're at a school dance or a party. When you're at the movies. When you're walking down the sidewalk. What's appropriate? How can you be smooth? What do you do?
3 Getting Sex-ed Advice from Unexpected Places
Like those V. C. Andrews novels. Bad place to get advice, by the way, unless you need tips for hooking up with the boy you thought was your brother or the crush who turns out to be related to you.
4 Worrying That You Smell All the Time
I don't even mean worrying about your pits or anything. I don't mean worrying about whether or not everyone can smell your period somehow, either. I mean worrying that the hormones in your body are so strong, you will actually smell like sex.
5 Figuring out the Lingo
What's a blowjob? Does it involve blowing on a guy's penis? How is that fun? (A/N: I believed this.)
6 Thinking Your Vagina is Broken
The first time you get really sexually aroused and you get wet, it can be weird if you don't know what to expect. This is especially awkward if it happens after you've been hanging with your crush. You go to the bathroom and suddenly … what is that? It's not your period. It's not pee. What IS that?!
7 Getting Giddy over Kisses
As you get older, kisses can become less special. Not for everyone, and I hope this never happens to any of you, but it happens. Post-puberty and pre-sex, you're still inexperienced with kissing. You don't know when to go in for one, you don't have your technique down yet, and it doesn't matter because every kiss leaves you giddy with your belly full of butterflies.
8 Discovering Masturbation
I know so many girls and women who still don't masturbate. It's like masturbating is a man's domain, but that's so untrue. Still, because female masturbation isn't exactly a mainstream topic yet, some girls end up doing it kind of accidentally. It is just as amazing and mind-blowing as it seems to be for boys, though. Like stumbling over nirvana.
9 Worrying about the Labels
Almost every girl worries about this. If you do something sexual, even if it's not sex, what will people say about you? What happens if everyone finds out? Will they call you slutty? Are you dirty?
10 Wondering How Far to Go
There's like this hierarchy you feel like you can follow, which you usually learn from your girlfriends, peers, and Tumblr. Like, French kissing comes first, then heavy petting, then it's okay to give the guy a hand job but you shouldn't let him go up your shirt … it's actually kind of agonizing.
11 Figuring out What to do from There
Like, how do you give a hand job? You're unfamiliar with the equipment, after all, it's foreign territory.
12 Trying Not to Laugh
Well, sex and sex-related acts are kind of funny at the best of times. The first time you see an erect penis up close, it's hard not to laugh. Even just knowing that a guy has an erection can be funny.
13 Trying to Copy Porn
This is bad for everyone involved. It also will not help with #12.
14 Scheming to Be Alone
Ah, scheming to get your boo alone somewhere – just to make out, usually, or to do something that seems super risque and serious when you're 16, but is actually pretty tame.
15 Always Hoping Not to Get Caught
No matter what you're doing, this is always a fear. Chaperons might catch you stealing kisses beneath the bleachers, your parents might catch you copping a feel behind the garage … anything can go wrong!
16 Thinking That You Have to Be Together Forever
Well, of course. If you let a boy see your boobs, you have to get married. I believed this at 14. I can't be the only one.
17 Waiting for the Day You Finally Go All the Way
You invariably build it up to be something way better than it ultimately is. Ah, youth.
How did you handle that strange, awkward period of time between reaching puberty and having sex for the first time?
